My Senseless Act- God’s Sovereign Plan

On Thursday, June 30^th I sat down in hopes of writing out all the checks to cover His Wheels bills for June. In addition I was planning to write out our rent check for July 2011. I knew the funds were tight and expected that I would have to write out a personal check to His Wheels to cover the organizations financial gap. Since we moved into HWI’s headquarters I have not received the okay from God to go look for money for HWI or to ask for money. Nor have I had to write a check from my personal account to HWI’s account. Instead I’ve sensed God has wanted me to follow Him and rely on Him. I know in this culture that sounds crazy. I would be the first to agree that it sounds crazy-or admit it is crazy

While writing out checks I had two to go, when I ran out of my booklet of checks. One of those left to write was the July rent check, which is where we had a $700 short fall. I thought, “No problem I have almost two full boxes of checks.” I wasn’t sure if they were at my home or headquarters office and to complicate matters someone other than me had cleaned both offices. When I didn’t find them at home I checked the headquarters office and couldn’t find them there either. I informed my landlord that I couldn’t find the checks and asked if I could submit it on Tuesday.

Over the weekend my memory went back to all the “old account” checks I had shredded months earlier. Well in a senseless act I somehow shredded the current checks too. So I emailed my landlord on Tuesday AM and explained my situation and asked if he wanted a money order or if he wanted to wait for my new checks that I put in as a rush order. I didn’t tell him the financial piece of the story because he deserves his money in a timely fashion for the outstanding services rendered.

All week I’ve wondered, “what is this senseless check thing all about?” I was sure God knew which check I couldn’t afford and I knew it wasn’t a mistake that I ran out before writing the rent check. However, I also didn’t feel led to write a check to HWI from my personal account. So I waited. Today I got a letter from the electric company. It looked different than my normal bill. As I opened it up, there was a check for $800 to cover the gap in our bills. All I could do was chuckle as I said, “God You sure have a sense of humor and from the electric company of all places.” I wasn’t expecting the check. They were returning our initial security down payment from when we moved in. I knew they were going to “return it when our credit had been established.” But only God knew the timing-His perfect timing. Now I’m just waiting for the new checks to arrive so I can write out our rent check.

Indeed God answers prayer!

The Hurdles to HWI Headquarters

The Hurdles to HWI Headquarters

On 4/18/10 as I was praying I pondered these quotes from Alexander Maclaren

“Life is not worth living, unless it is the vestibule to a life beyond.”

“Men do not really possess themselves unless they yield themselves to Jesus Christ. He that loveth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth himself, in glad surrender of himself to his Saviour, he and only he is truly lord and owner of his own soul. And to such an one shall be given rewards beyond hope and beyond measure-and, as the crown of all, the blessed possession of Christ, and in it the full, true, eternal possession of himself, glorified and changed into the image of the Lord who loved him and gave Himself for him.”

I read these words the day before going to the DuPage zoning board for approval of doing what we planned to do at our new headquarters. If everything went well at the zoning board then I was left to follow the Lord in utter abandonment, and take a leap of faith. Yes the board had already agreed, but in many ways going forward was counter cultural. God was asking us to trust Him and He would provide the resources. For me, and many of us in America it is much easier to trust Him for the resources when we've already secured the resources.

This adventure of taking the next step by faith is a huge spiritual learning curve. I am finding out right now how painful, stretching, brutal and demanding obedience is. There are the sins of commission (You shall not do something) or the sin of omission (Knowing what I am to do and not doing it). I was in a place of choosing obedience to God or choosing the sin of omission. Outwardly I wouldn't have been judged for the sin of omission, but I knew I would forfeit future blessings from God. I also knew HWI would never become all God wants it to be without obedience from the director and its leaders.

I prayed that night, "At a time when I’d like to hide under a rock and not move forward, You oh Lord are asking me to trust You. I can relate to Joshua being asked to go around Jericho and blow the trumpet and shout, but I feel my shout is hampered by laryngitis and the trumpet I’m blowing is broken. Yes, Lord, I am one of little faith. Forgive me, and expand my faith in You, and may I walk forth allowing the credentials of my life to shine through Your Shikinah Glory on my countenance."